J. Haux

You're crazy, girl. Oh, you're embarrassing me. :oops: I don't know you! :wink: First line needs to be separated, as it's the title. Then, your meter goes like this, in ...

Ooh! Well, some things weren't very clear, mostly at the beginning. I'll show you some examples. But, it really is good. We get acquainted with our hero, Megium...and I wonder ...

Oh... After an embarrassing conversation here, I remembered the difference between prose and poetry. But I could be wrong again! Let's see. Someone correct me if I am: Prose is ...

Nice job making (or have you? :wink:) the three chapters work as one. Much more suspenseful and seems to move more quickly, without pieces sort of hanging in the middle ...

Just dropping by to tell you I've read all of it from the beginning and am enjoying it immensely. Wit and humor, interesting idea, and I liked the way you ...

You know I like how it's going so far (and I like the plot :wink: and have seen your pictures). I know where you're heading, so I can't really comment ...

The first thing I thought when I saw the rating was that it must be horribly gruesome or horribly inappropriate. Now that I've read it, I know it's bloody, but ...

I'm not sure how to respond to this. It's not that it's bad...I'm just not certain how to interpret this. Is it a story? poetry? just philosophical statements? Mind if ...

Cheesy's not always bad. It can be fun! :wink: Seriously, though. This caught my attention right away. I wish I could tell you why . I think it's because the ...

I really think it's effective to leave the chapter split like this! The ending is nice and suspenseful. This one is too, but not as much somehow. I also think ...

Welcome to YWS, Dynamo! You want to know something helpful? Sorry, at the top of my first messaage where it says, "do hesitate to let me know." I meant to ...

lol! What's wrong with it? :lol: All the characters are energetic and humorous: the plotting evil but not-so-bright king and Oliver; the empty-headed Celia; the once honorable Charles (now murdurous ...

How did I miss this? I'll have to read it later, when I have time. Thanks for posting more. :D Question (or two): That link-how much of a spoiler is ...

...I don't see much in the way of serious editing, but you do have a lot of typos etc...and things that you should be able to fix on your own. ...

but I decided to keep it short ...This is the whole thing? *baffled and shocked* I was with you until, oh, the very last sentence. But before that: The mood ...